Ah, rejection. Everyone’s favorite topic. Rejection is without doubt one of the most painful human experiences. Most people, including myself, have gone to great lengths avoiding it. But at what cost?
At this point, you might think that rejection is simply something you need to “handle,” but I prefer a different approach. I genuinely believe that rejection works in our favor, and working with it, we can cultivate it as a super power. That’s because rejection is closely intertwined with getting us closer to our True Purpose.
Embracing rejection helps us train the belief that all other beliefs build on: I don’t want what doesn’t want me. That statement alone carries humility, surrender, the willingness to let go, and also a message to the universe that says: I’m awesome.
What type of rejection am I talking about here? All of it. You not getting that job. The person doesn’t want to date you. Your boyfriend breaks up with you. They don’t want to work with you. Even reading these sentences can provoke some sort of pain already. That’s normal.
I believe two things: that rejection speaks; it has a message. I also believe that rejection has a purpose: to get us closer to the life that is ours. Below I’ll walk you through what rejection has to say and how you can use it to transform your life.
1. All rejection is happening in your favor
To say that all rejection is happening in your favor is a powerful statement to make. When we remind ourselves that all rejection is happening for us, not against us, we instantly go to a place of humility within ourselves. Don’t allow yourself to go to a place where you convince yourself that you’re not good enough. Just say, repeat and believe: “this rejection is happening in my favor.” Getting in touch with statement opens us up to the path we need to take.
2. Rejection reveals the truth
When we go through a painful rejection, there always is a thread of truth. I remember once when I was being dumped. My soul sighed relief and gratitude. Of course, the second reaction wasn’t nearly as pretty, but something true always reveals itself. In my case, that was, “I knew this wasn’t for me to begin with, thank you.” When we get kicked in the nuts with rejection, we should not lose sight of the truth. That truth often is that this path wasn’t meant for us to begin with.
3. Rejection says: Get better
When we don’t get what we want, the dream job or dream person, rejection simply says: get better. The problem is, we usually take that as the sign to work and grind even more frantically. Getting better has more to do with loosening up than putting in more work. Let go, try something else, do something you don’t want to do. Open up to the idea that maybe you don’t know what “getting better” really means.
4. Rejection says: Are you done playing out trauma patterns?
This is a big one. Often we keep on chasing the wrong people and career paths because we are playing out some unconscious hurt of the past. We want people and things to keep on rejecting us to become conscious of the pain that liest beneath it.
5. Let rejection transform you
Feel the rejection’s pain, and then use that energy to steer your life in an inspired direction. Be careful not to confuse “inspired action” with “I will show them” energy. It’s not the same, and it will not reap the same effects. Feeling that pain, and being still to listen to what is the next right thing to do, will set you on a fresh new path bound to lead somewhere good.
6. You develop resilience
By embracing rejection, nothing has the power over us to influence our direction, self-worth, what we do, who we talk with, and how much we try to compensate. We are no longer acting on triggers or seeking out people or situations to inflate our ego momentarily. It’s in this space we dare to stand on our own, with no secondary intentions, but to walk in the direction of our true purpose.
7. No more compensating
When you’re no longer afraid of rejection, you start aligning with who you truly are. Not acting out of fear, we get to connect to our true self, and with that comes immense power. It’s in this place that things come to us, rather than having to fight and struggle to make something happen.